“When my apraxic son was younger a very wise neurologist once told me “your child already has much on his plate with therapies and stress that the typical preschool child doesn’t have to worry about. In addition he may not yet have the motor control or strength to potty train yet. Give him a bit extra time”
Potty Training HELP!!
Children in general are potty training later today than decades ago for some reason.
Potty Training Tips For Special Needs Children
First, be patient. One parent said it took her son forever. He was 8 and sometimes still has accidents. I wouldn’t say most with communication impairments like apraxia take that many years, as most tend to potty train late 3 to early 4. That isn’t however that unusual today for kids who don’t have special needs.
While the reasons why children today without special needs are late to potty train today may be up for debate, physical and emotional reasons for children with special needs could be part of the reasons why they are late to potty train, as well as stress, sensory, motor planning and/or low tone issues. Just like with speech, it may not be that the child is “refusing” to potty train. but just can’t yet.
One of my boy’s wise neurologists told me when I questioned about it, “Give him time, he has a lot on his plate already.” Depending on the diagnosis there could be more reasons for accidents and delays.
- Sensory processing disorder may be interfering with the ability to sense when they have to go.
- Motor planning may be preventing them from on command pushing.
- Hypotonia/weakness may be preventing them from holding or pushing the way they’d need to with accurate timing for no accidents.
I found a trick to help with number 2. (pardon the pun) Without going into details we all know there is some pushing involved and how do you teach that?! I told my son to take a deep breath and then try really hard to blow the air from his belly through his belly button. Sounds crazy right? Try it -no matter what -once you take a deep breath in- they are going to push.
The following six pages have information from parents and professionals. In addition you’ll find articles that address that later potty training is a trend today in all children.
From a workshop on potty training special needs children.
- The first thing they said was to spend some time collecting data. Check like ever 15 minutes to see if they are wet/dirty. This helps you know what times you are most likely to have success. It may be that every day at 2:00 they are dirty so if you put them on the potty just before 2:00 then they are likely to have success. It might be that it is always 30 min after lunch. Find patterns and then go with that first.
- The second thing they said is you have to get out of diapers/pullups and go to underwear with plastic pants or they don’t feel wet. They have to be able to get their pants down themselves or communicate the need to go (picture to point to, sign or word).
- Some children become “Schedule trained.” They don’t KNOW when they need to go, but they always go according to the schedule.
- They also said find what the CHILD likes (not what you want them to like) and use this as a reward ONLY for potty training. (I took all my sons cars, trucks, planes, boats etc out of his play room and put them in clear plastic bins that he couldn’t open alone. He could see them but not get them. I only gave them as rewards for the potty and every night they all went away and he started new earning toys in the morning.) Even if they cry for their favorite whatever they only get it for potty training rewards.
- Start where your child is. I had to start with going in the bathroom calmly. If he did that he got a reward. Then I had to move to doing anything in the potty got a reward. Then I had to reward him for staying dry & going in the potty. It was a slow, step wise process. (That is where the patience comes in.)
- Keep upping the ante. When they have achieved one goal, start rewarding for the next goal. Don’t punish.
- YOU have to be ready (that is what they said). You have to be ready to commit to carrying around a bunch of pairs of underwear, a bunch of changes of clothes. (I have to say though that I did this for ages. Took a big backpack with like 12 pairs of underpants, plastic pants, and bottoms. I took some breaks though. After a certain time of evening (after bath time which we made early) we would stop & he would go back in a pull up or diaper. I didn’t do ANYTHING with night time training. It was a diaper to bed. We both needed breaks.)
- They said night time training just HAPPENS. You can look for patterns, collect data and such to minimize night time accidents but some children are very heavy sleepers and just don’t wake up. I waited until my son was dry at night for AGES before I took his night time diaper off. He has pretty much never wet the bed because of that. I just couldn’t deal with it at night. It was too much for me. Good luck! Noelle
Another parent wrote:
– Lots of rewards (treats and stickers!) – every time we sit her on the potty we will give her a treat(small piece) and will say the word, “pipi” “pipi” so she will relate candy, cookies, or chips with the word “pipi” (even if she didn’t go) as long as she sat on the potty she will get rewards.
– every 15 mins we will sound the bell (or the alarm on your cell phone) and say really excited! “let’s go pipi” and will give her the reward as soon as she sat down on the potty.
– happy time, big smiles, and saying “pipi”
– 1st day it didn’t happened, until we put her diaper (before it was just underwear
– 2nd day every 15 mins, lots of happy faces, “pipi” word, and rewards,
– by the end of 2nd day brought the extra mega reward (frosting!!) it worked! – everytime she went pipi she got frosting!!!
– if she sat on the potty without going, she will get candy (small piece), doritos, or chips but not frosting!, that did the trick.
– when she got tired of candy, doritos, or chips, stickers came on!
– lots of small stickers, cars, tinker bell, stars, as long as she was sitting on the potty, (even if she didn’t go) she will get stickers! one by one up to 5 stickers per sitting.
– Every 15 mins =)
Behavioral Modification Techniques
Suggested by Pediatric Gastroenterologist Dr. Lawrence Adams From Our Constipation Page
Use calendar stickers -every week reward for amount of (times they use the potty)
- 2/ week something small
- 3-4 medium
- 5-7 large reward
Let your child pick out the calendar and the stickers. Let them place the stickers on the calender each time they use the potty. Rewards can be the type of things you’d do for them anyway from special treats, to trips to a favorite place. Something that motivates them.
Another behavioral method suggested by Melissa Brown-Coats, “It works!”
Potty Party!
“My 5 year old daughter is also Autistic. What you do is have a potty party! We learned this thru ABA. You have to dedicate time and absolute focus on this or it will not work.
- So you get a stop watch and a journal.
- You set the stop watch to go off every min. YES every min!
- As soon as it goes off say Lets go potty!
- You put him on the potty and see if he goes – if he does PRAISE! Maybe even a small reward like a sticker!
- Then wash hands .
- After he goes potty up the stop watch by a min. So every two min.
It is ALOT of work and this is a full time job for a good week!
Keep adding min. Journal everything. If you get up to say 15 min. And he makes a mistake drop back down a min. As this progresses- he will begin to gain confidence and understanding of potty! IT WORKS!
By the end of the week if you do it right and faithfully he will be up to 1/2 hour to and hour without any mistakes.
Some kiddos achieve success in a week – others may take a month. But it does work. We did this method when my daughter was around 3 and a half, Every child is different but I believe my daughter achieved success in about 2-1/2 weeks. The main thing is to be consistent – NO days off. If the parent skips a day it starts back at day one. ~ Melissa Brown-Coats
Potty Time Potty Watch
“The POTTY WATCH(r) lets your little one know when it’s time to GO! Just set the timer for 30, 60 or 90 minutes and flashing lights and music gently let your toddler know it’s time to try going to the potty. The timer automatically resets itself to provide consistent remainders all day long. The Potty Watch(r) does the reminding so you don’t have to!” More info
Bed Wetting
Sometimes even after your child learns to use the potty or toilet during the day, they wet the bed at night. When your child does wet the bed don’t shame them. Use a plastic mattress protector under the linens until this stage passes. Have your child help you change the linens and their clothing, even if they can’t do much. If bed wetting continues, get a night alarm like Sleepdry which attaches to the child’s underwear and goes off at the first hint of wetness.
The following is from the website for Sleepdry.
- Children outgrow bedwetting slowly.
Studies indicate that only 14% of untreated children between five and nine outgrow the problem annually. Parents and children are left with years of wet beds and frustration. 1 - Medication offers limited results.
Bedwetting tends to reoccur when medication is stopped. Consult your physician. 2 - Bedwetting alarms: -a breakthrough.
Consistent reports show a cure rate of about 75%. However, 25% of the children still need something additional. 3 - Bedwetting alarms with motivational programs (as mentioned above) work best
Cure rates can by very high. This increased success is achieved through very consistent use of an alarm with good motivational and drybed methods. 4
Nutritional Strategy
Since 2010 parents have found that some nutritional strategies helped with potty training and bed wetting, as well as with constipation. For special needs the average age of potty training was late three or early four, but it appears certain essential nutrients are helping earlier.
10 Year Old Bed Wetter
” I would like to give an update on our 10 year old daughter who has been using nutritional strategies for about 2-1/2 months. I previously reported that after starting, she had a great surge academically, but as Lisa has said the surges continue. She has had a problem wetting the bed at night. In fact, sometimes several times a night. She never had a night without wetting the bed. About 3 weeks after staring, she quit wetting the bed. This has been so good for her. She was afraid to spend the night with her friends. because she knew what would happen. Now, there are no more accidents”
Alternative Communication
Sometimes it’s can be a child can’t talk to tell you when they need to go to the potty. You can try sign language or picture exchange communication to help! Below is are potty picture cards from Dotolearn
One parent shared “we strategically placed 3 pictures of his potty on a pecs sized card and Velcro to each of the bathroom doors and he brings it to us every time he wants to go. I ll say he brings it when he doesn’t actually need to go either:-/. Sometimes he just wants to sit up there! But it does seem to be working. Then he gets to put the picture back on the Velcro when he’s done.” Below is a video how to do the simple sign for the word potty.
Potty Training Can Be An IEP Goal
Here are some example goals that can be added to your child’s IEP for potty (toilet) training from Bridges4kids.org
Content Strand: Toileting
Annual Goal #71 _________ will increase periods of remaining dry to ___________ (criteria) as measured by ____________
(evaluation tool).
Objective #1 Indicate when wet or soiled.
Objective #2 Sit on a toilet when held or cued to stay.
Objective #3 Will urinate in a toilet/urinal.
Objective #4 Will have a bowel movement in a toilet.
Objective #5 Use a toilet on a trip-trained schedule.
Objective #6 Request a toilet when needed.
Objective #7 Obtain and cooperate with assistance for toileting as needed.
Content Strand: Toileting
Annual Goal #72 ________ will increase ability to manage toilet facilities to __________ (criteria) as measured by ___________
(evaluation tool).
Objective #1 Transport self to and from bathroom.
Objective #2 Manage a bathroom door.
Objective #3 Manage a stall door.
Objective #4 Manage clothing before and after toileting/urinal.
Objective #5 Position self on toilet.
Objective #6 Position self in front of urinal.
Objective #7 Manage a hand-held urinal.
Objective #8 Manage catherization material.
Objective #9 Use and dispose of personal sanitary products.
Objective #10 Wipe self.
Objective #11 Flush a toilet.
Objective #12 Wash and dry hands after toileting.
Objective #13 Manage adapted toileting equipment. e.g. reducer ring.
Objective #14 Drain urine collection bag.
Objective #15 Inform helper of the assistance needed for toileting.
Objective #16 Ask for assistance appropriately.
Objective #17 Request a toilet when needed.
Content Strand: Toileting
Annual Goal #73 _______ will increase appropriate behavior in the school bathroom to __________ (criteria) as measured by
_________ (evaluation tool).
Objective #1 Keep hands out of toilet bowl.
Objective #2 Will flush once or as needed.
Objective #3 Get up from toilet when finished.
Objective #4 Use only amount of paper towels/toilet paper neeContent Strand: Toileting
Annual Goal #71 _________ will increase periods of remaining dry to ___________ (criteria) as measured by ____________
(evaluation tool).
Objective #1 Indicate when wet or soiled.
Objective #2 Sit on a toilet when held or cued to stay.
Objective #3 Will urinate in a toilet/urinal.
Objective #4 Will have a bowel movement in a toilet.
Objective #5 Use a toilet on a trip-trained schedule.
Objective #6 Request a toilet when needed.
Objective #7 Obtain and cooperate with assistance for toileting as needed.
Content Strand: Toileting
Annual Goal #72 ________ will increase ability to manage toilet facilities to __________ (criteria) as measured by ___________
(evaluation tool).
Objective #1 Transport self to and from bathroom.
Objective #2 Manage a bathroom door.
Objective #3 Manage a stall door.
Objective #4 Manage clothing before and after toileting/urinal.
Objective #5 Position self on toilet.
Objective #6 Position self in front of urinal.
Objective #7 Manage a hand-held urinal.
Objective #8 Manage catherization material.
Objective #9 Use and dispose of personal sanitary products.
Objective #10 Wipe self.
Objective #11 Flush a toilet.
Objective #12 Wash and dry hands after toileting.
Objective #13 Manage adapted toileting equipment. e.g. reducer ring.
Objective #14 Drain urine collection bag.
Objective #15 Inform helper of the assistance needed for toileting.
Objective #16 Ask for assistance appropriately.
Objective #17 Request a toilet when needed.
Content Strand: Toileting
Annual Goal #73 _______ will increase appropriate behavior in the school bathroom to __________ (criteria) as measured by
_________ (evaluation tool).
Objective #1 Keep hands out of toilet bowl.
Objective #2 Will flush once or as needed.
Objective #3 Get up from toilet when finished.
Objective #4 Use only amount of paper towels/toilet paper needed and dispose appropriately.
Objective #5 Insure own privacy and observe the privacy of others.
Objective #6 Use water for personal hygiene only.
Objective #7 Refrain from sexual behavior in the ded and dispose appropriately.
Objective #5 Insure own privacy and observe the privacy of others.
Objective #6 Use water for personal hygiene only.
Objective #7 Refrain from sexual behavior in the school bathroom.
Today’s Trend: Children Potty Train Later
Two Experts Do Battle Over Potty Training
By ERICA GOODE Published: January 12, 1999
Toilet training is not rocket science, says John Rosemond, a syndicated columnist and best-selling author of parenting books. He considers it ”a slap to the intelligence of a human being that one would allow him to continue soiling and wetting himself past age 2.” The process, he says, should be as simple and straightforward as housebreaking a 4-month-old puppy.
The noted pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton says there is more to it than that. Parents who force toilet training, he says, can cause lasting problems. ”Don’t rush your toddler into toilet training or let anyone else tell you it’s time — it’s got to be his choice,” Dr. Brazelton advises in a television commercial for Pampers size-6 diapers, suitable for children 35 pounds and over.
What does he think about Mr. Rosemond’s arguments? ”They sound very logical — for a puppy.”
So goes the newest round in the toilet-training wars.
The previous round was won by parenting experts like Dr. Brazelton and Dr. Benjamin Spock, who schooled a generation of 1960’s parents in a flexible toilet-training approach.
Moreover, though there are no hard statistics on them, pediatricians say they are seeing more children with toilet-training problems, including withholding of urine and stool, chronic constipation, and wetting and soiling by older children. Dr. Bruce Filmer, an associate professor at Thomas Jefferson University Medical School in Philadelphia, for example, says he and other pediatric urologists have noticed an increase in referrals of young patients experiencing problems with both daytime and nighttime urinary control.
These developments combined have fed a multibillion-dollar diaper industry, which last year had training-pant sales of $545 million, and have spurred the introduction of the giant-sized diaper, designed for toddlers well past the terrible 2’s.
The sight of diaper-clad 3- and 4-year-olds does not amuse Mr. Rosemond, a family psychologist who advocates a return to traditional child-rearing practices, and he has decided to do public battle on the issue.
In a series of columns last month, published in more than 100 newspapers, he attributed delayed training to wishy-washy parenting inspired by ”Freudian mumbo jumbo.” In particular, he pointed to Dr. Brazelton, professor emeritus of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School, who in the 1960’s pioneered the ”child-centered” parenting approach, recommending that parents let their children decide when to become diaper-free.
The increasing tendency for parents to leave the timing of toiling training up to the child, Mr. Rosemond asserted, is largely responsible for the rise in toilet-training difficulties. Delayed training, he said in a telephone interview, can also lead to discipline problems, because mothers spend too much time being servants for their children and do not make the transition soon enough to ”authority figure.”
Mr. Rosemond concedes that Dr. Brazelton has been giving the same advice for decades but also criticizes him for serving as a consultant to Pampers, a product of the Procter & Gamble Company, and for appearing in the Pampers commercial.
”I think it’s a fairly blatant conflict of interest,” Mr. Rosemond said.
For his part, Dr. Brazelton said he believed that the rise in toilet training problems was a result of too much pressure on children, not too little. The increase can be traced to the escalating demands of modern life, he said. Day-care centers often require that children be toilet-trained in order to enroll, and working parents end up leaning on them to comply. Parents share the responsibility for training with nannies and baby sitters, a circumstance that children may find confusing.
”Parents are feeling very guilty, and people like Rosemond are making them feel more guilty, not less,” Dr. Brazelton said. ”And the child’s only recourse is to withhold urine or stool in protest.”
As for his relationship with Pampers, which provides financing for his research and health care projects, Dr. Brazelton said he was proud of the association.
”It took me a long time to decide to do it, but I’m absolutely convinced that it was a wonderful thing to do,” he said. ”I’m certainly not doing it to keep kids in diapers. It’s just the opposite: Pampers is willing to go along with me to make it easier for mothers to let kids be open to toilet training when they are ready.”
To ”go along,” of course, is not all that difficult for Procter & Gamble, which, like its competitor Kimberly-Clark, maker of Huggies, recognizes a bonanza when it sees it.
Wendy Strong, director of corporate communications for Kimberly-Clark, said the company’s own marketing research confirmed that toddlers were toilet training later than in the past: only 12 percent of children are trained at 18 months, the company found, and 85 percent by 30 months. Huggies, too, just began offering customers a size-6 diaper, but the company also makes ”training pants” for toddlers of 38 pounds or more, a product category, Ms. Strong said, that Kimberly-Clark ”expects to grow to more than a billion dollars by 2002.”
Whichever expert’s school of parenting a toddler’s parents decide to follow, they run no risk of confusing the philosophies, or the methods themselves.
Mr. Rosemond offers a toilet-training technique he calls ”naked and $75,” which he recommends that parents embark upon with their 2-year-olds.
”You stay home from work with your child for a few days,” he said, and ”you let the child walk around the house naked all day long.” The parent puts the potty where the child spends most of his time, and moves it when necessary to keep it nearby. Every so often, the parent reminds the child to use the potty when needed.
”Children at this age do not like urine and feces running down their legs,” Mr. Rosemond said. ”When they have an accident, they stop and start to howl, and the mother comes along and says, ‘Well, you forgot to use the toilet.’ She puts him on the toilet, wipes him off, speaks reassuringly to him. And within three days, or five days, he’s doing it on his own.”
The $75, he added, is for the carpet cleaning.
In contrast, Dr. Brazelton, like Mr. Rosemond the author of best-selling parenting manuals, discourages parents from expecting their child to potty-train in a few days. He recommends that parents buy a potty chair and ”show children what is expected of them at 2, what we are all doing and why it is important.”
But, he says, the rate at which training occurs should be left up to the child.
”If your child is afraid of the potty chair, don’t put pressure on him to use it,” Dr. Brazelton advises in a step-by-step guide available on the Pampers Parenting Institute’s Web site (www.pampers.com). ”Put toilet training aside for a month or two, and give your child time to get used to the idea of the potty and to be comfortable with it.”
”Be patient and positive,” the pediatrician suggests. ”As with any new skill, your child will master toilet training in time.”
In his experience, Dr. Brazelton said, 85 percent to 90 percent of children will embrace toilet training soon after they first show an interest.
”But the others are saying that there are other issues they’re trying to deal with,” he said, ”like day care, like parents who are extremely busy. The child gets confused and maybe even angry, and withholds. And at this point I think you have to be able to say, ‘This has got to be up to you.’ ”
For parents, the bottom line seems to be: Whatever works.
Melissa Saren, for example, a Manhattan lawyer, said she tried introducing her son Matthew to the potty when he was 3. ”But I think looking back on it that I started when I was ready, not when he was ready,” she said.
For months, nothing seemed to work, not bribes, not the books ”Once Upon a Potty” or ”Everyone Poops,” not ”big boy” underwear. Finally, she said, Matthew decided the time was right — when he enrolled in day care at 3 1/2.
”Seeing the other boys poop in the potty” seemed to do the trick, Ms. Saren said. ”I would fall into the category of thinking that you just leave them alone and they’ll come to it.”
Other mothers — Mr. Rosemond said his daughter-in-law was one example — find that the ”stay at home and do it in three days” approach works just fine.
But many pediatricians say their experience has landed them much closer to the Brazelton camp than the Rosemond. Dr. Filmer, for example, said he had seen many parents become embroiled in battles with their children if they try to force toilet training within a defined period of time.
”Goodness me,” Dr. Filmer said, ”you talk to these parents and they will tell you that their children formed almost a fear of toilet training.”
Dr. Bruce Taubman, a pediatrician in the department of gastroenterology and nutrition at Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia who has a private practice in Cherry Hill, N.J., said: ”To get a child trained by 2 can be done, but it is probably done at a cost. It takes a tremendous effort.”
But Dr. Taubman said he had a hunch, though he did not yet have data to support it, that there was a window of opportunity, perhaps near the age of 2 or 2 1/2, ”when kids really want their parents to get excited if the kids poop.” If this opportunity is missed, toilet training may take much longer.
Dr. Taubman is one of the few people who have collected systematic data on toilet training. In 1997, he published the first large-scale study of children’s reactions to toilet training since the 1960’s, a report on 482 children in suburban Philadelphia. The study appeared in the journal Pediatrics.
In addition to assessing the ages at which most children now train, Dr. Taubman found that boys trained later than girls on average and that the average age at which parents introduced toilet training was 23 months.
There is no relationship, Dr. Taubman found, between when a child is trained and the mother’s work status, the presence of siblings, the child’s scores on measures of behavior, or whether the child is in day care.
About 13 percent of the children in the study had trouble with toilet training, withholding stool or refusing to use the toilet. But the vast majority of these children, Dr. Taubman said, ”resolved the problem without intervention.”’ (original source)
Toilet-trained At 2? Today It’s Rare
Grandma May Not Agree, But The Change Is Fine, Experts Say. They See No Need To Rush The Process.
By Lini S. Kadaba INQUIRER STAFF WRITER
Kelley Rose Gavel is 3 years and 4 months old, and she’s a big girl now.
She can use the potty. Finally.
“When she turned 2, we got a potty chair,” said Kelley’s mother, Sue Gavel, 35, who lives in Harleysville.
But Kelley wasn’t interested – not for nine months. Gavel said she asked often, but didn’t push. One day, Kelley announced she needed to go to the bathroom, and soon after her third birthday, she was wearing Barbie and Winnie-the-Pooh underpants and using the potty, like a big girl.
Once, most children got toilet-trained at 2. But not anymore.
The age is drifting higher. Bigger, older children – 3-, 4-, even 5-year-olds – are still wearing diapers. The reasons have as much to do with lifestyle changes as with disposable diapers.
Pampers has a new size 6 diaper that fits boys and girls 35 pounds or larger. We’re talking 3- and 4-year-olds. The jumbo diapers are selling like Teletubbies, and grateful parents have clogged Pampers’ consumer hotline.
Junior may learn to spell p-o-t-t-y before he learns to use p-o-t-t-y. Grandma’s comments aside, that’s perfectly fine, say the experts.
“We want to stress it’s a process, and it takes time,” said Elaine Frank, codirector of Parenting Services for Families and After Adoption, which offers discussion groups for parents.
“It’s not that you don’t bring it up or try to educate your child, but you don’t try to make them do it,” added Denise Rowe, also a director of Parenting Services, based in East Falls.
And please don’t call the process toilet training. The favored term is toilet teaching or potty learning or even toilet education. We no longer train our children.
“Everybody’s trying to figure out a word that sounds better than training,” Rowe said. “You train your dog, or you train your cat. But because children have feelings . . . we want to help them, we want to work with the children to learn how to teach themselves to do it.”
A child-centered philosophy is only one reason for the trend toward later potty training.
People live harried lives, and mothers, especially working mothers, have little time to hang out in the bathroom with a young child who may or may not be ready to go. So they wait.
When pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton suggested a more relaxed approach toward “bowel and bladder control” in 1962, his research showed that 90 percent of children achieved the milestone between the ages of 2 and 2 1/2 years. (About that time, Pampers introduced disposables, which are more comfortable than cloth diapers, providing toddlers less incentive to get out of them.) In 1997, barely one-fifth of children could claim the same achievement by that age, and most – 75 percent – were accomplishing the task between 2 1/2 and 4 years of age.
“There is no reason to rush it,” said Jeffrey Bomze, who practices pediatric and adolescent medicine in Bryn Mawr. “This is a child-centered activity rather than a parent-imposed achievement.”
Buy a potty at 18 months, he suggested, but then wait for cues. “We’ve backed off anything negative or coercive,” he said.
The kinder, gentler way puts us at odds with the world. Other cultures routinely toilet train (and yes, they do still train) children at 12 months.
The late shift has many a grandmother beside herself. The older generation has its stories, shared without hesitation, of babies trained by a year, sometimes even 10 months.
One grandmother wrote a letter to a parenting expert complaining about her daughter-in-law’s “half-hearted” attempt to train 3-year-old twins. “Is this some new parental attitude, or is it just laziness on her part?” she asked.
According to experts, beginning with Brazelton, a child needs to mature physiologically, emotionally, even socially before he or she can successfully use the toilet.
Were babies 30 years ago smarter?
“It wasn’t the babies who were trained – it was their mothers,” write the authors of the popular parenting series What to Expect. The mother learned the baby’s schedule and caught him at the right times.
With the focus on the child’s point of view, we want to make sure the tyke really understands that constant parental refrain: Do you need to go to the potty?
Pediatricians say the magic age to start teaching is a little over 2 years. But even if parents begin the process then, they should expect it to take several months – or longer – with frequent relapses.
“You can’t force at that age,” said Bomze. Toddlers in the middle of the terrible twos often greet any parental request with a firm no, which can make toilet training grounds for World War III and reason enough to wait until the cooperative threes arrive.
“You’re not going to win that [battle],” Bomze said. Power struggles can lead to a child’s refusing to go at all, and that can cause constipation and serious medical problems.
One Mount Airy mother dutifully bought the potty at 2, and then she played the waiting game. The boy was 3 1/2 when he learned to urinate in the toilet. Now 4, he uses pull-ups – disposable, diaperlike underpants – for his bowel movements.
For some children, toilet learning can take longer, especially for boys, who apparently lack the fastidiousness of girls.
Still, parents worry – and society, from grandparents to acquaintances, can add to the stress with insensitive comments.
“It became a power struggle,” said the mother, who didn’t want her name used. (More older children may still need diapers, but no one brags about the fact.)
As her son got older, she began pushing him. It led to conflicts and setbacks. “That’s why you don’t push,” said the mother, who has overcome guilt and anger. “It’s his choice now. . . . I’m backing off.”
A go-slowly attitude doesn’t guarantee an easier time.
Kelley Gavel suffered constipation, despite her mother’s patience. “She was scared,” said her mother.
Preschoolers often fear bowel movements – as if they’re losing a piece of themselves.
To help Kelley along, Gavel consulted Bomze, the child’s pediatrician; rented the video Once Upon a Potty; and read Everybody Poops, a book for children.
“I think she needed to figure her body out,” the mother said.
At the East Falls parenting group, Alexis Bryan, 14 months, sat – with her clothes – on a potty put out for exploration. Another toddler, Michael Reed-Price, 17 months, ran over. Soon, the two had taken the potty apart.
The mothers applauded and spoke words of great encouragement, not expectations.
“What age do you get a potty?” asked Alexis’ mother, Ivy Bryan, 45. “What’s the next step?”
Elaine Frank, the group’s coleader, suggested that Bryan encourage – but never force – Alexis to sit on the potty, even invite her to watch Mommy use the bathroom.
“This is the education part,” said Denise Rowe, the other group leader.
“You constantly want to give the child the idea she has control,” Frank added.
With that, Michael grabbed the potty bowl, walked over to the play kitchen in one corner, and used the potty – to cook.
No matter. The relaxed grown-ups cheered all the same. (original source)
Potty Training Tip – Cinderella Does Not Like to Get Wet
The last 5 years have been great as far as changing diapers, spending money on diapers and cleaning up dirty diapers! That is due to my youngest child finally moving to regular underwear! Back then, one of the most popular potty training books my friends and I used was ‘Toilet Training In Less Than A Day’ by Nathan Azrin. Many of my friends have had great success with this book. I also picked up a few other ideas along the way. Below are my favorite tips for potty training a toddler.
Potty training should start when your child is truly ready in all three areas: physical, mental and social. Your child must have the physical ability to perform the steps involved. They should understand how the body works and know the clues. Also, they should have the desire to learn.
Once you have a potty chair, and you are sure your child understands moving from diapers into underwear, ask them to bring you their favorite “lovey” or stuffed animal. Have them teach their “baby” first. This assures that they understand the process and are ready to move forward. If they have a hard time with this, you may want to put it off, but if they are willing to try, go ahead with the thought of introducing it to them.
The basics of the one day training was to set aside one full day that you can teach your child without interruptions. I explained that they were showing signs of being ready and were old enough to move into regular (big girl/boy) underwear. I gave my daughter some lightly salted popcorn and her first coke and explained that these would help us with our potty training for ONE day! Some smart kids may decide to prolong it for a few more days just to get these treats! I had her sit on the potty for 10 minutes and kept her entertained with books, cards, coloring etc. After 10 minutes she could eat some popcorn, drink her soda and play for about 10 minutes. We kept her out of diapers, pull-ups or underwear during this time, yes that means bottom half is out in the open. Then we started over again, sit on the potty for 10 minutes and then we increased the time off the potty about 5 to 10 minutes each time. So you would start off with 10 minutes on, 10 minutes off, 10 minutes on, 15 minutes off, 10 minutes on, 20 minutes off, etc. Continuing to fill them up with her snack which would make them thirsty, the more they drank the more opportunities you gave them to practice. You can use any snack or drink, but these were my preference for this special day!
Once you have introduced potty training, buy several pairs of underwear with your child’s favorite character. Wrap them up in some fun paper or present them in a special way. Let your child know that they have had some success potty training and they are now ready for underwear with their favorite character on them. Then after they model them and put them on and you clap and make a big deal about it, inform them that Cinderella (replace with favorite character name) doesn’t like to get wet or dirty. So, as soon as you need to go to the bathroom, don’t forget, run quickly to keep them dry and clean. A few of my friends tried this when they knew their kids were ready, understood and were still too busy playing to take care of business. If they do have an accident, you could try this note (or email)…
Dear (child’s name),
I am so proud of you for learning how to use the potty! I am also glad you got some underwear with my picture on it. Try to remember to tell your parents as soon as you feel the urge and then go to the restroom. Please remember that I don’t like to get wet or dirty and I love it when I stay dry!
We all have accidents sometimes and if you do, please tell your parents right away! They won’t be mad and then they can wash them quickly, clean me up and you can wear them again.
I am proud of you!
(sign characters name)
Remember each child develops differently. An age range could be anywhere from 18 months to 3 years. By 4, most kids are completely independent.
If you start and realize your child is not ready, try again in a few months.
You can’t make your child complete potty training until they are ready. You can start the training but they decide when it ends. This is not a battle and if it starts to head in that direction, put it off.
Toilet training usually cannot be accomplished in one day. You can accomplish a lot and get the basics down but expect accidents to happen and be prepared in case they do.
Have an extra set of clothing, a plastic bag to put wet clothes in and some wet wipes available nearby when you are out. Do not yell, punish or criticize when they have an accident.
Use positive reinforcement. Point out how proud you are when they make it to the bathroom.
Bedwetting is normal. For both kids the nighttime took much longer. We used night pull ups at bedtime and would try a few nights in a row every couple of months.
Nighttime dryness is achieved only when a child’s body is developed. You can’t “teach” this because it is not a skill. I know many boys that continued to wear night pull ups until the age of 7 and 8. I asked our pediatrician about this and they recommended to bring it up to the doctor to rule out any problems but that some kids may not develop this ability until later.
Potty Training At 6 Years Old Advice from Dr. Phil
Here is some great advice from Dr. Phil to parents who are struggling to potty train their 6 year old.
“My 6-year-old daughter has never shown any interest in being potty trained,” says Caron. “During the entire school day, which is six hours long, she won’t use bathroom.” Caron goes on to explain that she has created a routine with her daughter that allows her to go to the bathroom at home after school and then use a diaper at night.
She also says that medical reasons have been ruled out as a reason for her daughter’s inability to be potty trained.
“I know how to potty train a child,” says Dr. Phil. “This is not about potty training. At this age, children can do two things: they can control what they eat and they can control what they put out. That’s the power they have. And she’s exercising that ability. The fact is, you have been outthought, outmaneuvered, and out-negotiated by a 6-year-old kid.”
“People will perform less desirable behaviors in order to have access to more desirable behaviors,” says Dr. Phil. “For example, children will do homework in order to have a friend sleep over, etc. What are you doing that violates that principle?”
“Probably giving her a pull-up diaper during the night because I value my sleep,” answers Caron. “If I wanted to force her to do it I could tell her she was on her own.”
“You are empowering her,” says Dr. Phil. “You have to stop going to the store and buying diapers that allow her to do what she’s doing.”
“Going cold turkey is not going to traumatize her?” asks Caron.
“We’re talking about peeing!!” exclaims Dr. Phil. “Do you think she’ll come on the show in ten years and when I ask her what’s wrong, she’ll say, ‘My mom made me pee!’?”
“You need to say, ‘New deal: you need to use the toilet. And if you don’t, you’ll have a big mess on your hands. You’ll be walking around in wet pants and sleep on wet sheets,’” says Dr. Phil. “People understand these things. They seek pleasure and avoid pain. When this becomes uncomfortable for her she’ll move on to the next level and you can reward her for her progress. No, it’s not normal. You enabling her is not normal. You just need to raise the bar and she will clear it.”
(This transcript is from the Dr. Phil’s Show.)
Potty Training Your Child In A Day By Dr. Phil
What You Need
- A doll that wets
- A potty chair
- Big boy/girl underwear (instead of diapers)
- Lots of liquids for your child and the doll to drink
**Note that the following instructions using liquids also apply to potty training for bowel movements.Consider Before You Begin
- Development: The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests waiting until 2 years of age to potty train.
- Modeling: You can demonstrate or have the doll demonstrate the process of “going potty.”
- Motivation: Find out who your child’s superhero is. The hero will provide the motivation in this process.
Step 1: Teach a Doll That Wets
Your child will learn by teaching the doll how to go potty. Have your child name the doll and give it something to drink. Then walk the doll to the potty chair with your child. Pull the doll’s “big kid” underwear down and watch the doll go potty together.
Step 2: Throw the Doll a Potty Party!
When the doll successfully goes potty, throw a potty party! Make it a big blowout with party hats, horns and celebrate. Give lots of attention to the doll so that your child understands that going potty is a good thing.Let your child know that when he goes potty, he will have a potty party too. Not only that, your child gets to call his favorite superhero to report the good news!
Step 3: Get Rid of the Diapers
At the beginning of the process you placed underwear on your child’s doll. Now it’s time to take away the diapers and put underwear on your child.Step 4: Drink Lots of Fluids
Give your child plenty of fluids to drink. The sooner he has to go potty, the sooner you can begin potty training.Step 5: Ten Trips to Potty When Accident
Ask your child if he needs to go potty. Your child might say no and that’s OK. Because you’ve given your child plenty of fluids, he will soon need to go.If your child has an accident in his underwear, don’t scold him. You want this to be a positive experience. Instead, take your child to the potty, pull his underwear down, and have your child sit down. Do this 10 times. This builds muscle memory and your child will eventually go.Step 6: Let the Celebration Begin!
When your child successfully goes potty, throw him a potty party. Most importantly, your child can now call his favorite superhero and tell the hero about what he just did! Enlist the help of a friend or relative to play the hero and take the phone call.When your child has an accident, simply take him/her to the bathroom ten times in a row as you did before. This will continue to build muscle memory. And don’t forget to keep up the positive reinforcement.
If all else fails there is the Toilet School at the Children’s Hospital Boston. As one parent wrote “The miracle for us was Toilet School at the Childrens’ Hospital in Boston. They have a toilet school program – I believe it is the only one in this country – after getting accepted to the program, it is six Thursday afternoons … kids meet for ‘classes’ and parents meet in a special ‘ support group’”
The Children’s Hospital Boston in depth info on potty training
The following tips may help you get started with toilet training:
- If your child has siblings, ask them to let the younger child see you praising them for using the toilet.
- It’s better to use a potty chair on the floor rather than putting the child on the toilet for training. If you decide to use a seat that goes over the toilet, use a footrest for your child’s feet.
- Children should be allowed to play with the potty: Sit on it with clothes on and later with diapers off. This way they can get used to it.
- Never strap your child to the potty chair. Children should be free to get off the potty when they want.
- Your child should not sit on the potty for more than five minutes. Sometimes, children have a bowel movement just after the diaper is back on because the diaper feels normal. Don’t get upset or punish your child. You can try taking the dirty diaper off and putting the bowel movement in the potty with your child watching you. This may help your child understand that you want the bowel movement in the potty.
- Children often learn to go to the potty for bowel movements before urine, so you may want to start with bowel training first.
- If your child has a usual time for bowel movements (such as after a meal) you can take your child to the potty at that time of day. If your child acts a certain way when having a bowel movement (such as stooping, getting quiet, or going to the corner), you may try taking your child to potty when he shows it is time.
- If your child wants to sit on the potty, you may stay next to your child and talk and read a book.
- It is good to use words for what your child is doing (“potty,” “pee” or “poop”). Then your child learns the words to tell you. Remember that other people will hear these words. It is best not to use words that will offend, confuse, or embarrass others or your child.
- Avoid using words like “dirty,” “naughty” or “stinky” to describe bowel movements and urine. Use a simple, matter-of-fact tone.
- If your child gets off the potty before urinating or passing a bowel movement, be calm; do not scold. Try again later. If your child successfully uses the potty, give plenty of praise (smile, clap, hug).
- Children learn from copying adults and other children. It may help if your child sits on the potty while you are using the toilet.
- Children often follow parents into the bathroom. This may be one time they are willing to use the potty.
- Initially, teach boys to sit down for passing urine, as, at first, it is difficult to control starting and stopping while standing. Boys will try to stand to urinate when they see other boys standing.
- Some children learn by pretending to teach a doll to go potty. Make this teaching fun for your child.
- Make going to the potty a part of your child’s daily routine, such as first thing in the morning, after meals and naps, and before going to bed.
What happens next?
- Once children start using the potty and can tell you they need to go, taking them to the potty at regular times or over-reminding them to go to the potty is not necessary.
- You may want to start using training pants. Wearing underpants is a sign of growing up, and most children like being grown-up.
- If your child has an accident while in training pants, don’t punish him. Be calm and clean it up without making a fuss about it.
- Keep praising or rewarding your child every step of the way: for pulling down pants, for sitting on the potty and for using the potty. If parents show that they are pleased when children urinate or have bowel movements in the potty, children are more likely to use the potty next time.
- Remember that every child is different and learns toilet training at his own pace. If things are going poorly with toilet training, it is better to put diapers back on for a few weeks and try again later. In general, have a calm, unhurried approach to toilet training.
- As children get older, they can learn to wipe themselves and wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Girls should be taught to wipe from front to back so that germs from bowel movement are not wiped into the urinary area.
- Most children have bowel control and daytime urine control by age 3 or 4. Soiling or daytime wetting after this age should be discussed with your child’s physician.
- Nighttime control usually comes much later than daytime control. Complete nighttime control may not occur until your child is 4 or 5 years old, or even older. If your child is age 5 or older and does not stay dry at night, you should discuss this with your child’s physician.
- Even when children are toilet trained, they may have some normal accidents (when excited or playing a lot), or setbacks due to illness or emotional situations. If accidents or setbacks happen, be patient. Examples of emotional situations include moving to a new house, illness or death in the family or a new baby in the house. In fact, if you know an emotional situation is going to be happening soon, do not start toilet training. Wait for a calmer time.
The main thing to remember is that toilet training isn’t something that happens all at once; it’s a process that can go on for some time. It’s important to stay positive and make sure your child feels comfortable and loved every step of the way.
Toilet training can sometimes be an emotional time. A child’s initial enthusiasm can give way to temper tantrums, accidents and frustrations.
The first — and most important — thing is to take a deep breath and remember to be patient.
Though it may take some time, you and your child will get through it — and your child will soon become comfortable and independent on the toilet.
Read on to learn more about toilet training and how you can help your child be successful.
Stage one: getting started
When your child shows some (or all) of the signs that she’s ready for potty training, you can start right away. One important thing to remember: Take it slow.
Children should be allowed to play with the potty: Sit on it with clothes on and later with diapers off. This way they can get used to it.
If your child has siblings, ask them to let the younger child see you praising them for using the toilet.
How long will it take my child to potty train?
Everyone’s different. Some kids might train in a day or two; others might take several months.
Why might my child take longer?
There are a number of reasons, some of which we’ve outlined below:
Too young — We don’t recommend starting before your child turns 2.
Toddler independence — Your child might be testing out the limits of her independence, including saying “no” to the potty.
Caution — Some kids have a hard time adapting to changes.
Fear — Your child may not really understand the toilet and therefore be afraid of it or falling into it.
Busy — Your child may be having too much fun playing to want to concentrate regularly on learning how to use the potty.
Alternatively (or additionally) your busy lifestyle may make it harder for your child to develop his new routine; consider slowing down for a few weeks to help your child get comfortable using the potty.
There are two other factors we identified in a study at Children’s Hospital Boston:
Constipation
In our study, 78 percent of 46 children who had difficulty toilet training were constipated.
Constipated children have painful stools, large stools and need to push hard.
Other studies have shown that constipation comes before toilet refusal; presumably, since it hurts, the child is more reluctant to go on the toilet.
Temperament?
Temperament is a child’s behavioral style — the innate tendencies that determine how she interacts with, and responds to, her environment.
About 10 percent of children have difficult temperaments, 40 percent are easy, 15 percent are slow to warm up, and the remaining 35 percent are intermediate. Several traits cluster into these four temperament classes.
?Our study found a difference in difficult temperament traits when 46 difficult toilet trainers were compared to 62 preschoolers who trained easily.
Difficult toilet trainers were more likely to be “less adaptable,” meaning that they have more trouble adjusting to new situations.
They were more negative and frustrated, cried and whined, were less persistent and gave up more easily.
They were also more likely to withdraw from a new situation — like toilet training — rather than readily accept it.
Because of temperament, difficult toilet trainers usually have difficult behavioral styles. In our study, 42 percent of children who toilet trained easily had easy temperaments, but only 2 percent of difficult toilet trainers had easy temperaments. In this study, if you had an easy temperament, you were 33 times more likely to be easily toilet trained!
With that in mind, don’t despair if your child is having a hard time. No one goes to college in diapers, so your child will get it — toilet training may just take some extra time and effort.
So, how do we start?
Children often learn to go to the potty for bowel movements before urine, so you may want to start with bowel training first.
If your child has a usual time for bowel movements (such as after a meal) you can take your child to the potty at that time of day.
If your child acts a certain way when having a bowel movement (such as stooping, getting quiet going to the corner), you may try taking your child to potty when he shows it is time.
Should we use a potty chair?
It’s better to use a potty chair on the floor rather than putting your child on the toilet for training.
If you decide to use a seat that goes over the toilet, use a footrest for your child’s feet.
Never strap your child to the potty chair. Children should be free to get off the potty when they want.
My son won’t pee or poop in the potty, but as soon as he gets down, he goes in his diaper. Should I keep him on the potty longer?
Your child shouldn’t sit on the potty for more than five minutes.
Sometimes, children have a bowel movement just after the diaper is back on because the diaper feels normal.
Don’t get upset or punish your child. You can try taking the dirty diaper off and putting the bowel movement in the potty with your child watching you. This may help your child understand that you want the bowel movement in the potty.
How should we talk about the potty?
It is good to use words for what your child is doing (“potty,” “pee” or “poop”).
This way your child learns the words to tell you.
Remember that other people will hear these words. It is best not to use words that will offend, confuse, or embarrass others or your child.
Avoid using words like “dirty,” “naughty” or “stinky” to describe bowel movements and urine. Use a simple, matter-of-fact tone.
Should I let my child watch me while I’m using the toilet?
Yes. Children learn from copying adults and other children. It may help if your child sits on the potty while you are using the toilet.
Children often follow parents into the bathroom. This may be one time your child is willing to use the potty.
Should I teach my son to pee sitting down or standing up?
Initially, teach boys to sit down for passing urine, as, at first, it is difficult to control starting and stopping while standing.
Boys will try to stand to urinate when they see other boys standing.
My daughter likes to play “potty” with her dolls. Is that OK?
Yes, it can be very helpful.
Some children learn by pretending to teach a doll to go potty. Make this teaching fun for your child.
What about wiping?
As children get older, they can learn to wipe themselves after going to the bathroom.
Girls should be taught to wipe from front to back so that germs from bowel movement are not wiped into the urinary area.
And don’t forget to have your child wash her hands even if she didn’t “go.” It’s an important part of the routine.?
Use warm water and scrub hands for about 15 seconds.
You can teach your child a rhyme or have her count to ten to better gauge the time.
We don’t seem to be getting anywhere. What do we do?
It’s good to measure success by small steps. Your child might not poop or pee in the potty every time (or even anytime in the beginning); however, he might start getting comfortable sitting on the toilet or wiping or washing his hands.
Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small: pulling down pants, sitting on the potty, using the potty, washing hands.
If you show that you are pleased when your child urinates or has a bowel movement in the potty, your child is more likely to use the potty next time.
My child did it! Now how do we make it stick?
Make going to the potty a part of your child’s daily routine, such as first thing in the morning, after meals and naps and before going to bed.
And read on for some tips about how to help your child continue to succeed on the potty (as well as some hints about how to handle setbacks).
| REMEMBER THE IMPORTANCE OF PRAISE |
|---|
| If your child gets off the potty before urinating or passing a bowel movement, be calm and don’t scold him. It’s all part of the process. Try again later.
If your child successfully uses the potty, give plenty of praise (smile, clap, hug). |
Stage two: success and setbacks ?
By now, your child has had some success using the toilet. Congratulations!
Here are some tips on how to reinforce the lessons she’s learned and help her if she’s having problems.
Do we need to keep to such a strict schedule now?
No.
Once children start using the potty and can tell you they need to go, taking them to the potty at regular times or over-reminding them to go to the potty is not necessary.
When should we introduce underpants?
It’s good to wait until your child has had some success in toilet training, so that she doesn’t get discouraged by having too many accidents in her underwear.
You have a few different options:
Disposable training pants (Pull-Ups) are good in the beginning, but some kids understand quickly that they’re like diapers and so use them that way.
They are good to use during the training process for naps, at night or when you’re traveling.?
Cotton training pants absorb urine with an extra layer of fabric.
They can be a good intermediate step between Pull-Ups and underwear.?
Underwear is thinner and allows your child to feel the urine faster, which can encourage the use of the potty.
However, without the extra layer of material, accidents will take longer to clean up.
When you first start toilet training, limit the time that your child wears underwear to minimize the possibility of accidents.
Make sure to change your child’s soiled underwear or training pants quickly; you don’t want her to get used to the feeling of wet or soiled underwear.
How should I react to an accident?
If your child has an accident while in training pants, don’t punish him.
Be calm and clean it up without making a fuss about it.
Are all these tantrums and breakdowns normal?
Yes. Keep in mind that this is a big change for your child who is caught between wanting to be independent and wanting to be taken care of — as well as being overwhelmed and excited by all these new things he’s learning.
Pay attention to your child and try to figure out what’s causing the tantrum. Is he tired? Sick? Needing attention?
Once you figure out the cause, treat it the same way you’d treat any tantrum — with patience. Then let him know you understand that he’s upset but that he will have to calm down.
You can say something like, “I know doing your job of sitting on the toilet can be hard, but you can do it. When you’re done being angry, then you’ll need to sit on the toilet.”
Most important, stay calm yourself. Let the tantrum pass and then get back to business.
If things are going poorly with toilet training, it is better to put diapers back on for a few weeks and try again later. In general, have a calm, unhurried approach to toilet training.
My child is really having a lot of trouble. What do we do?
First, make sure that your child isn’t constipated. Talk to your primary care provider. A constipated child can be treated with diet or medication, depending on the extent and duration of his constipation. You cannot expect a child to go if it hurts to go!??Then, break the task of toilet training into manageable parts.
Rather than expecting your child to poop in the toilet, start by merely having him sit on the toilet, poop in the bathroom (in his diaper; not on the potty), wipe or flush.
Make it a positive experience by rewarding your child with small treats for succeeding in these tasks, such as stickers, a special activity with you or a star on a chart.
Remove added stress your child may feel. Don’t talk about toileting other than at the time of your child’s toileting tasks.?
Then, every week, offer your child the opportunity to work on a new task.
Rewards should continue and pressures should be avoided.
Continue to monitor your child’s bowel status, ensuring that stools are soft and controllable, and easy to pass.
It’s still not working and we’re going crazy. Help!?
If all else fails, take a break for a month or two.
Be sure to avoid conversation about the issue and to eliminate any pressure your child may feel.
Use that time to improve your child’s stooling regularity with diet changes or medication suggested by your child’s doctor.
Later, introduce a task your child is sure to be able to do (such as flushing) so that he feels confident with success.
Slowly add more toilet training jobs, such as wiping or sitting on the toilet.
In rare instances, help from a developmental pediatrician or behavioral psychologist may also be necessary.
My child still isn’t toilet trained. Should I be worried?
Remember that every child is different and learns toilet training at his own pace.
Most children have bowel control and daytime urine control by age 3 or 4.
Soiling or daytime wetting after this age should be discussed with your child’s physician.
Nighttime control usually comes much later than daytime control. Complete nighttime control may not occur until your child is 4 or 5 years old, or even older.
If your child is age 5 or older and does not stay dry at night, you should discuss this with your child’s physician.
Even when children are toilet trained, they may have some accidents (when excited or playing a lot), or setbacks due to illness or emotional situations, such as moving to a new house or a death in the family. If accidents or setbacks happen, be patient.
The main thing to remember is that toilet training isn’t something that happens all at once; it’s a process that can go on for some time. It’s important to stay positive and make sure your child feels comfortable and loved every step of the way.
| NEED SOME MORE HELP WITH TOILET TRAINING? |
|---|
| One good, no-nonsense book is written by a physician at Children’s: The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Potty Training Problems by Alison Schonwald, MD, a physician in the Division of Developmental Medicine. |
How Children’s Hospital Boston approaches toilet training?
Some kids do have more trouble than others with toilet training. If your child has a medical condition that’s making it harder for her to master toilet training, we can help. We usually see children and their parents individually at first and most children quickly master using the toilet without anxiety. For those who continue to have trouble, we have developed Toilet School, an educational program for both parents and children to help them with difficult toilet training:
- It’s a six-week program in which six kids — mostly 4-, 5- and 6-year-olds — come to class once a week for an hour to an hour and a half.
- Parents attend a separate class where they learn behavioral techniques designed to help their children master toilet use.
- By graduation time in the sixth week, about 60 percent of the kids have successfully had a bowel movement on the toilet. The ones who haven’t get follow-up visits until they’re successful.
For more information about Toilet School, see the Research & Innovation section. For children who are experiencing problematic or incomplete toilet training, Children’s has a dedicated Voiding Improvement Program that evaluates and assists kids and families dealing with a wide range of voiding issues
Cheerio Game For Boys
You may start your boys sitting on the potty, but when you want to train them how to stand there is the Cheerio game.
What NOT To Do When Potty Training Your Child”
Would you potty train your children in public? (and if you said yes to that…naked from the waist down, sitting your child on a potty seat you put on top of a restaurant chair that others will sit on to eat at after you leave, in a public deli where everyone is eating and some can snap photos of your children naked from the waist down?)
This mother thinks it’s OK to have her children naked from the waist down sitting on a potty in a public restaurant while they and others eat
Any parent who has tackled toilet training knows that awkward in-between stage where your kid’s not 100 percent there, but you need to leave the house and take the underwear leap of faith. Will you be near a toilet when the urge strikes?
One Utah mom decided to take the guesswork out of this scenario by just bringing portable potties to a local deli. Another patron snapped a photo of twins sitting bare-bummed on the throne, clothes pulled to their ankles, while they sat eating. The picture was posted to Facebook, where it went viral.